


Caraphernelia

by aluinihi



Series: Tumblr/Ask Drabbles [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, but not so comforting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 10:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16700959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aluinihi/pseuds/aluinihi
Summary: There are leeches on his skin and thorns behind his eyes. No fire in the world would be able to boil the frozen piece of rotten meat he calls‘heart’, and no dream is capable of silencing the nightmare of being alive.





	Caraphernelia

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! English is not my native language, so please warn me of mistakes :)
> 
>  
> 
> [Ask me for a drabble!](https://aluinihi.tumblr.com/ask)

There are leeches on his skin and thorns behind his eyes. No fire in the world would be able to boil the frozen piece of rotten meat he calls _‘heart’_ , and no dream is capable of silencing the nightmare of being alive.

He can’t see _can’t see can’t see can’t see_ but the noises keep getting louder and louder, so loud that he creates the ones making them. And the forms move behind his eyelids, twist and turn and morph into gruesome obscenities that make him question his sanity. He can’t be sane as long as he can taste blood on the tip of his tongue.

His eye snaps open when the fire creaks in the hearth. It’s dying but he doesn’t move to get the wood — in the end, so is he but he doesn’t move to change that either. The North smells of pines and losses, and sometimes Roy wants to make candles with that scent and send one to each of his friend.

He runs his fingers over the wool of the covers and all he can smell is clean laundry and early mornings. The sound of snowfall is in truth his own respiration and the body next to his looks more like a sun than a moon. Roy reaches for the skin, enchanted by the tan, by the heat — and the person just carries on with his sleep. A scarred chest going up and down, up and down with each breath.

Roy’s index finger dances above the man’s sternum; there’s a heartbeat underneath the tip, strong and steady. He ventures up to the clavicles, then to the neck — Adam’s apple, the thud on the carotid artery — then chin, cheeks, and lips. He lingers on the forehead, and Roy feels as if he is touching something sacred: the cranium that protects a brilliant mind. The heart is beautiful, yes, but it is inherently stupid. The brain, however, was the one who consented for this al to begin.

A metal hand covers his with a soft _click click click_ of moving joints.

”’Can’t sleep...?”

It’s a low voice, rough with tiredness, but Roy doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

”I just woke up.”

The golden eyes are lazily lighting up and blond brows furrow, even though he won’t press any further:

”C’mere.”

And Roy does. He nestles in the midst of strong arms, one colder than the other but both equally welcoming. He tucks his head underneath the man’s neck, breathing in the summer on that skin hoping to subside the winter crawling under his.

”Edward?”

”...hm?”

”Is this real?”

Roy knows the answer already, but in moments like this he’s just a child; a slave of the Subconscious.

The blond pulls him tight against his chest.

”Who cares?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope enjoyed!
> 
> [Ask me for a drabble!](https://aluinihi.tumblr.com/ask)


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